Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
