Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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