i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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