Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
