she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
