Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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