I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
