I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
