he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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