to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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