shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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