I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
