So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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