Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize