call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Damn victory sex feels great
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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