Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
