I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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