We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love you. Go after that dick
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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