billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
