He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
