she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
