my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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