my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
