singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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