Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize