I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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