you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
