I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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