I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize