Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
