He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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