I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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