Your face is a jimmy john
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
