Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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