STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
