It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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