Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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