Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
