i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize