she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
