YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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