We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize