Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
