i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
