it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
