I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize