4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
