I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
