Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize