So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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