My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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