if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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