i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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